"Love?" Chrissie asked.

"Yeah, love," Denzil replied solemly.

"Well come on then!" cried an impatieint Jimmy. "Who was she? Where is she now? Why did she dump you?"

Denzil looked up at Jimmy. "He wasn't a she, he was a he. He's dead now and he didn't dump me. I dumped him."

The shock and excitement on Jimmy's face was quite amazing. It was as if he'd just discovered the best secret in the world. "You're a fag? Jesus fuck! Denzil's a fucking faggot! Who would have believed it?" he screamed.

"Oi!" Crissie shouted at him, "bit of respect, yeah? Who gives a fuck which way Denz swings? Fact is he's lost someone and it obviously still hurts, so shut it yeah?"

"Sorry Denz," Jimmy said sheepishly. "I just never thought..."

"Yeah well you rarely do," Chrissie cut him off.

"It doesn't mattter now anyway," Denzil said, "Fact is he's dead and I'm here and there's not a lot anyone can do about it now."

After a few moments of reflective silence, Jimmy started up again. "That still doesn't really answer my question though, Denz. How did you get from NASA to here?"

"The thing is," Denzil began, "NASA doesn't like making geeky technicians into astronauts. NASA likes even less making gay geeky technicians into astronauts. They made me finish my relationship with Frank before they would let me on the mission. I thought we'd be alright. I thought we would get back together as soon as it was over and I came home. But I couldn't explain that to him. I was in Russia and he was back here. Our phones were tapped, our letters screened. I had to finish it. I couldn't explain to him that I loved him more than anything and that as soon as I was out of there he would be the first person I would come and see and tell him how much I loved him. He didn't know that. I wasn't allowed to tell him," Denzil stared into the ground, his eyes visibly heavy with tears.

"Ok,"Jimmy was obviously losing patience quite rapidly and urged Denzil on, "so you got back and told him then, yeah?"

"I would have done," Denzil replied, "but I couldn't."

"Why not?" Jimmy snapped. Chrissie shot a look at him.

"Because he was dead, alright?" Denzil looked up at Jimmy, tears now runing down his face, "he couldn't stand the thought of life without me and he killed himself, ok? While I was fucking around with oxygen systems in space, he was filling a bath and plugging a hairdyer in. And believe it or not, that kind of plays on my mind a little bit, ok? That's why I'm sitting here with you, you little cunt."